Vanity Plates

"Hey, what year is your Mustang? Nevermind."

Possibly the most aptly named item of our time, the vanity plate has become an epidemic on the highways of our nation. The "Me Generation" is taking self importance to unprecedented levels. Even as I write this blog(which I assume everyone will want to read because, after all, I wrote it) there are egomaniacs cruising around with license plates that say "2FAST4U" or "3SENUFF." The worst part of it all is, when I catch a glimpse of one, I speed up and try to position myself so I can read the letters on the tag. Then I rack my brain to decode and decipher what this fellow driver has felt was so important that it must be emblazoned on their vehicle like a cattle brand. When I finally translate the message...I am invariably dissapointed and consequently angry. What must go through the minds of these people to make them think that they are clever and witty enough to formulate, using only a combination of eight numbers and letters, a idea that anyone, other than themselves, would care about reading? Are you just too good for random characters? What is so important about you that I am required to be privvy to it without ever meeting you? This week I passed a Honda Civic Hybrid with a plate that said "CUTS CO2" Really? I guess "SAVESGAS" was already taken. They wouldn't let you go with "JUDGINGYOUWITHOUTEVENSPEAKING"? How about "DCHEBAG"? That fits.